Day 178 - Christmas Eve

Even though we don't really celebrate Christmas in my family in the states, I still can't help wishing a bit that I am back in the U.S. enjoying the holiday season with my loved ones. I guess I am finally feeling a little homesick, wishing that I can spend a few days w/ my family. I wonder if I'm conditioned by the holiday to feel that way or what! So yes, I feel a bit of a looser for writing a letter on the eve of Christmas in my hut at my village. I could've gone to my neighbor volunteer's site and celebrate w/ her and the missionary family at her site, but because we had a mock soccer match for the girls, and I'm the main organizer for getting girls to play soccer, I didn't feel that I could leave. We have been training for a week, and it's always dark when we finish playing. It would not have been safe to ride out an hour away to my neighbor's site. perhaps I will pay her a visit tomorrow. It's only about an hour or so to her, and if it isn't for the mountain that lie b/w her and I, I can probably make it in 45 min. I have been biking in the morning when I can for an hour to an hour and half. This month it is quite chilly in the morning. If I go out biking at 8am, I would wish that I have gloves. I go out to bike around 9am and I make sure I wear sneaker and socks, instead of my tevas which has been shoes to teach in, walk around in, dance in, the all purpose sandals. By the time I get back, it is around 10ish and the sun is just starting to beat on us. By noon time, I don't want to go out, because the sun is once again showing off her power. Kids don't come out to play very much until 4:30 in the afternoon when sun isn't as strong. The sunset is always around 6:45pm here. I have to say it feels strange writing time american way, as I'm very used to think and speak military time.

I believe my last blog ended right before Girls conference. So I pick it up from there. The conference went very well. Almost all the girls were very eager to participate and we found them to be especially interested in HIV/AIDS, excision and depigmentation sessions. Things that are not really talked about in villages. It's also nice to see girls who aren't afraid to speak their mind, who can speak better french, not worried about there are boys to laugh at them. It also had been a great bonding experience for the girls to exchange ideas w/ girls in other areas. I wish we could afford to bring more girls to the conference to empower them but like always, finance is always difficult. There was a great short theatre piece on why African should not use product to lighten their skin. It spoke of when dark skin is lightened, it loses its defense capability to strong sunlight and the usage of skin lighting product is also a sign of African being ashamed of their natural skin color hence their heritage. I was glad to know that my girl decided not to use the product any more after the conference.

Based on their questions on HIV/AIDS, I can see the great need to educate people still on this issue in the developing country. Given that even people in the U.S. is still ashamed of talking about it , a cause of disease that is sexually transmitted, and you try to educate people in a village about it in a very underdeveloped country where religion seems to dictate a lot of society norms; where people still believe in witches and talk of a lot of superstitions (like for example if you hurt your knee but you let a twin to touch your knee, it will heal); where some girls want to play soccer but their mothers forbid them to play because she doesn't want her daughter to wear pants or shorts; where some people believe is god who choses who will receive HIV, people don't get it from other people; where the health center in the village isn't equipped to do HIV testing; where spending money on transport to a city to test HIV seems extravagant, don't even have enough money to eat sometimes; where there is people believe that is white people who made up the whole thing to scare Africans; where women have much less say in the matter of sex and share their husband w/ other wives; so you say why can't you just tell them the truth, yes I will but whether people will believe me and follow my guidance that isn't up to me. The traditional thinking, the conservatism, the lack of modern and well funded medical facility, the inequality between men and women, the poverty the life is hard enough I don't have time to worry about HIV, the "it can't happen to me", it is not easy to alert everyone the severity of HIV/AIDS. Think about how long it took americans to face up to it, and still we aren't comfortable with it from time to time. I hate to bring religion up once again, but it dictates the degree of conservatism in one's culture, and it can be a road block sometimes, also in cases we have seen in the U.S. At least, in U.S. we have separation of church and state.

Although I can't quite formulate precisely the problems and their causes one find in an under-developed African country yet, I am definitely gaining a much better understanding of why the slowness of development here. An understanding that I couldn't have gained if I just stayed in the U.S. and read about it. I guess that's why we say experience is the best teacher. I'm also glad to come here at a more mutual age being able to reflect more on things observed.

Excision is another problem of traditional practice that is inhumane and unsanitary for women. The Guinean government has a national campaign to eradicate excision, but the practice is so traditional, it is still going on in some parts of the country. Luckily, it has been found that it has no religion basis at all. Excision is the clipping of clitoris, or that plus stitching the vagina close on young girls only leaving the hole for urination, which is called infibulation (I don't know of it is the same word in English). In case of infibulation, the girl can gain a great dowry for her family and after she gets married, stitch is taken off when she is ready to have sex with her husband. It is debatable how much of this is practiced in Guinea. All of these cutting for excision is done by someone who always does this with a household knife not at a hospital, there is no anesthetic, no proper way to clean the wounds or knife and the same knife can cut one girl after another, so there is a great chance of infection and contamination of blood which open doors to HIV transmission. Above all, this practice isn't necessary and has no benefit to girls/women at all. I think my girl is excised and she finally found out how unnecessary it had been.

The girls also got a chance to visit some professional women the last day of conference to see with their own eyes that there are women working alongside of men in the office.

Coming back from girls conference felt a bit strange, in the way that I didn't really feel like I was coming home. Perhaps it was because this time I was gone a bit too long. Just when I thought I am getting back to teach to keep getting involved in the village, I found out that the equivalent of "winter" vacation starts 2 days after I got back. It was suppose to be the last week of Dec., but maybe because of the municipal election, the education ministry decided to start it early, so there won't be huge crowd of kids at school at election time.

At first, I felt very disappointed and defeated, here I am all eager, ready to continue teaching and made my mind up to stay at my village to stay through Christmas and New Year's, but there is no school. How can I help someone who doesn't want my help? Yes, I thought for a few hours about packing up my bag and head out to Conakry and maybe join the others who is going to Sierra Leone for New Years. But partly because I didn't want to deal w/ getting around in a taxi in this country, partly thinking I'll finally have sometime to read, I decided I'm sure I'll find something to keep me busy.

So I did and I have found things to keep busy and no I don't yet have time to crack open my books. I ended up teaching the 10th graders 3 times last week. I told them that they didn't have to come, but it is them who will take high school entrance exam next year, and we are very behind on our 10th grade program because school keeps closing for this reason or that. I was pleasantly surprised most of students showed up for my lessons. Yes, most students lack the discipline to study by themselves and their illiterate parents don't know how to help them or too busy to.

We also started training girls to play soccer. Last year the old volunteer had organized a girls soccer match w/ the neighboring high school where there is another volunteer. Since I only just got here, I figure it will be simpler to organize a tournament b/w classes in my village, since playing match at a village 17km away poses lots of logistic problems. But I wasn't prepared to face another problem, the problem of girl's mothers or fathers refuse to let their girls to play because she will need to wear shorts. One mother won't even accept if her daughter wears pants w/ a oversized T-Shirt to cover her butt. So right now I don't know if indeed the tournament can be realized, because we need 8 girls from each grade to play. Some grades only have 10 girls!

I tried to talk to some girls to tell them sports is good for their health, their spirit, it helps to liberate women in this society, but old thinking is deep and not all girls are willing to go against their parents. *Sigh*.

But the girls who have been playing this past week are really getting better and every time I watch them play, I want to setup a tournament for the ones who plays. Not everyone wants to be helped, and encouraged, but for those who does, I want to do everything for them.

Next week I will start doing review w/ some 10th graders who wants to get a jump start on preparing for high school entrance exam next year. 2 hours per day. Soccer training continue next week as well. So as you can see I always manage to keep myself busy. By the way, the same coach who worked w/ the volunteer last year is helping me out. So I am mainly around for moral support and play a bit myself.

I'm excited to rent another room from my family soon. It has been difficult to receive students or other visitors just outside of my hut. Also I want to layout books, put up posters to peek interest in those students who stop by. Hard to do it in my hut, so small and with all my "earthly" belonging in sight, not very safe.

I should mentioned I watched a sacrifice in which a student family slit the throat of a goat, skin it, divided up the meat, and cleaned the internal organs and I didn't throw up, faint or cover my eyes. Okay I didn't really want to look when they slit its throat. My experience just gets more exotic isn't it? So here, it is the women who kill and clean fish and chicken, men kill and clean goat and cow.

I find it really bizarre that on one hand there is cars here, on the other hand people still go out in the bushes to look for wood for cooking and squat around a big bowl in the yard eating with hands. very strange/odd mix of modernization and primitivity.

So for those of you are stateside, it is still a few hours before christmas. Hmmm, all the good eats I'm missing. I hope everyone is well and closing the year 2005 on a good note. (It is currently 0:40am, I can hear the music from the dance club up the road. I'm glad I don't live next to it).

I've tried out making chocolate pudding. Yummy. Very easy, coca, milk and flour and cook together till it thickens and let it cool. But cocoa found here is weak, and I had to put in some chocolate I got in care package. So I'd love to receive some dark chocolate. :)

I better get some sleep. Is there a white christmas where you are? I hope Santa is good to you this year! Take care all.

- Bonnie

Day 163 - Getting Ready...

I have been so bad of keeping up my journal in last 3-4 weeks. Between, the changes in our school, getting ready for girls conference, getting pulled into organizing girls soccer games at my college. I was just too lazy to write with a pen. Yes, sometimes I wish I can type up my letters, so I am determined to stay up tonight and write you all as much as I can. And please, please, let the power stay on. 

The first day of girls conference went pretty well and smoothly. Most girls were very eager to participate. We have sessions on relations with men, women's roles, good study habits, to AIDS and HIV, exercision, public speaking, environmental protection and meeting with career women. The girl I brought with me is 8th grader who I see potential and but needs direction. She is also the younger sister of a 9th grader whom I am close to.

So, lots have been going on at my site. 

3 weeks ago we got a new principal who came from a 8000 students college in Conakry to a 400 students college in the Fouta region. Many of my female students were very happy to hear the change. Apparently the old principal likes to insult students, don't care for my village much, since he is from a neighboring village, he never stays in the house in my village much, and not a very devote muslim. Some teachers don't like him because he isn't serious about shaping up the school and didn't work very much. Of course, I hear all these when he is leaving.

The new principal is a Sousou, and we just got another biology prof who is Malinke came out of Conakry, so add me, we are three non puehl people in my college. I like the new principal. He's cleaned up the teachers‚ office which is just a one room building. Although, he's divided up the space and hid himself with his desk behind a partition of bookshelves. I suppose it gives him more privacy and block some noises from the rest of space and command certain authority and power, but lack an open and welcoming atomsphere to the student body in my opinion. He is also made sure that we raise the flag every morning at 7:55am and have students sing the national anthym when we raised the flags. With the old principal, we did for the first week, then just stopped. The kids are getting so relaxed these days. Sometimes, only 20 or so show up for the raising of the flag. I have a feeling that they are waiting by the bushes outside the school yard and come in afterwards. Also, the new principal is pushing the teachers to get to class as soon as the flag is raised which is 8am when first period is suppose to start. I am happy for this change, so I can at least start teaching at 8:15 instead of 8:30 like with the old principal. Yes, I would stand by the door at 8am and wait about 15 min. for some late students drag their feet into the classroom. I have a feeling that the old principal really has relaxed the rules a lot with the students, so to get them back on track will not be a easy task.

We also had to combine the 2-8th grade classes into one because of lack of teachers. The chemistry teacher is taking on math for 7th grade since students only has chemistry for 2 hours a week. And the only math teacher is teaching 8th grade in addition to 9th and 10th grade. It has already been a pain to teach 8th grade sometimes, now just one big class, there isn't enough room for students to get up and come to board to answer questions. I finally warned them the other day that if they don't change their behavior I will just abandon 8th grade physics, which I can do, since I don't get paid. The 8th graders are lucky to have me. All the other grades are fine, of course there is always small problems, but 8th grades for some reason always such a difficult age. It was like this in practice school.

I took me so much energy to think every scenario possible and combat cheating for a test for 8th grade. I wish I could've spent these energy on something more worthwhile, but with the large class size and students used to cheat, I don't have any other choice. I am successful though to get them to understand multiple choice questions because the material we have been covering in 8th grade is more qualitative, except density. I also made it open book, because from an engineering background, I am more focused on application rather than memorizing theories. Besides, some students probably cracked open their notebook at home. They probably didn't even know where to look for things in the notebook. I made 2 sets of test, so 2 students sitting in the same desk can't copy off each other. 

So, I don‚t know how well my 10th graders are understanding the conservation of energy, or just potential vs. kinetic energy, concepts I absolutely love, yes, yes, you are laughing at me now because I sound like a geek. But really, it is fun. I used a lot of sports exemple to demonstrate kinetic energy even including running before kicking a soccer ball in the classroom. I think I might get so caught up sometimes though of the hardcore science teaching, again because of my engineering background, forgeting that these are just middle school students. I really should just try to perk their interests. They can get more into physics in high school. The problem is the age of my middle school students can be older than the high school students of the US, so they look like they belong to high school, but they are not.

I stumbled a bit at starting one of my secondary projects. I knew it was too early to take on organizing girls soccer matches in the college, but I didn't listen to my instinct. I figured it was no big deal that I will just let my student to do most of the leg work since I was busy getting ready for girls conference, but he didn't follow the proper procedure of inform all the authorities (eventhough I have urged him to do so over and over) before posting flyers with my names (only) on it. Of course the authorities weren't too happy, but I was able to explain the situation and given that I am new and I have been intergrating fairly well in the community, I have rectified the situation and we can continue without too much problem. I am only just going to do a small scale soccer match between the different grades in my college this year. Next year I will try to set up matches to compete with females students of neighboring college or lycee. I am also hoping to set up academic competition with gifts to attract students to participate, and hoping through doing so will boost students‚ interest in learning and school. I am also hoping to work with other female teachers from elementary schools to speak in group mom meetings, to get the parents to push students to study and do their homework at home. Instead of some students copy off each other at school 10-15 minutes before the homework is due. It seems very few students really open their notebook once they get home.

I am sad that my counterpart (the vice principal of my college) has been moved to a far off village to be the principal there. I've pleaded to keep him here. He also doesn't want to go because he has a lot of young children here and the road between his new post and my village is very bad. I know it because it's on my way to Labe. Not easily accessible by vehicle. I have found him to be a such kind man and good mentor for me, but right now I have to look for others for guidence, and to help me to develop secondary projects in my village.

I am sad and frustrated that on one end that I want to push my kids to study hard to have a better future, but on the other end faced with the harsh reality that last year, government can only afford for less than 50% of students who passed university entrance exam to attend univerity. And then there is lack of jobs after university. *sigh*

Someone asked me if we will have an actual physical facility for the library. No, we don't even have bathrooms at the college and some classrooms are in the desperate needs of repair. So, I will be operating a library out of my hut probably. I just want to get some brain foods to some of my kids somehow. I don't care how I do it.

I finally made it back to the sous-prefect's home to eat on a Sunday afternoon. Of course communication with the family member other than the sous-prefect is a problem, but I always find some housework to do to pass the time while waiting for the meal to cook. This time is pounding rice with a long thick stick with a circular cross section into a wooden container. Each time the wooden stick pound the rice remove the skin a little bit. It is not a easy work but good training for upper back muscle and the triceps. The rice skins also make your skin very itchy. I am again at awe of amount of work one must do just to eat here.

So, I am looking forward to spend the week off b/w Christmas and New Years at my site, visiting more of the smaller villages and reach out to more of my students and families. And maybe I can try my luck at some baking and share them with my friends. Yes , I am getting rather attached to my friends and my kids in the village. Already, I am sad at thinking that after a year, I won't be able to see my 10th graders as they will move into cities to attend high schools. The kids can be impossible one day and so darling the next. Seeing them getting what I am talking about sometimes is a feeling so precious. Just thinking now, leaving the kids in my family after 2 years will be so difficult for me. Working and living in the US seems so foreign to me right now, eventhough I have only been away for less than 6 months. Life is so strange sometimes. 

It's strange to think it is Christmas without the constant reminder of retail stores. Not to mention it is hot and there is no snow.

Thank you everyone for your letters and packages. Well, only Fen yee and Adrienne's letters have been getting through, and of course the letters in the packages. I am glad all the packages have safely made through and got into my hands. Thank you and thank you. I miss you all but not so much that I want to go back to the US. Take it as a good thing that I am loving my life here and the people here. I wonder why not more people try it out, but then again it is such an individual thing.